aycare can be a fantastic outlet for dogs, and our job is to ensure they play safely and go home tired. On the surface, a pair or group of dogs playing may seem harmless, but there are many nuances to observe within that play to make sure it is fair and that all participants are willing. The following will outline key aspects of these interactions for a better understanding of what we should stop, encourage or shape.

Fair and balanced play should always be our priority, but what does that really mean? While it may seem obvious, it can be difficult to interpret, especially with younger puppies, where much of the behavior appears harmless. When observing dogs at play, we want to see a back-and-forth exchange—a “volley”—between them. Look for the following:

• Play bows: This is a common invitation to play. When one dog offers a play bow, it should be met with interest or engagement from the other dog.
• Role reversals: If one dog consistently dominates the interaction, the play becomes unbalanced. Healthy play involves dogs switching roles and taking turns.
• Loose, relaxed movement: Tension indicates imbalance. Instead, look for fluid, “snake-like” movement as a sign of comfort and playfulness.
• Time-outs: When one dog pauses or disengages and the other respects that break, it shows strong communication and balance.

This kind of fair exchange is essential for healthy socialization. But what happens when play is not balanced?

One common issue is one-sided play, which can resemble bullying. In these situations, one dog is far more interested in the interaction than the other. While it may appear playful at first, there are important warning signs:

• Calming signals: A dog that is uncomfortable may yawn, lick their lips or turn their head away to disengage. If these signals are ignored, staff should step in to create space before the behavior escalates.
• Snapping: Dogs may snap to create distance. While this is natural communication, it indicates discomfort and should be addressed to prevent escalation.
• Disengagement: A dog trying to walk away is signaling they are not interested. If the other dog continues to pursue—especially without role reversal—it may not be play. When unsure, briefly remove the initiating dog and observe. If the other dog re-engages, the play may have been balanced; if not, it likely wasn’t.
• “Annoying little sibling:” This includes persistent pestering such as muzzle punching, pawing at a disengaged dog, barking in their face, chasing without role reversal or mounting. While the intent may be play, the approach is inappropriate and should be redirected.

In these cases, adjusting play groups to better match energy levels and play styles is often the best solution.

Another dynamic to watch for is “third-wheel” play, which occurs when three dogs interact but one is left out or treated unfairly. Often, two dogs engage appropriately while the third either struggles to join in or becomes the target of rough or imbalanced behavior. A third-wheel dog may:

• Interrupt play by biting at legs or necks
• Bark in other dogs’ faces
• Attempt to force interaction in inappropriate ways

Alternatively, two dogs with similar play styles may unintentionally gang up on the third, creating a stressful “two-on-one” situation. Both scenarios can lead to frustration, discomfort and potential conflict. Redirecting the third dog to a better-matched playmate can help maintain a safe and positive environment.

In the end, our role in managing group play goes far beyond simply supervising dogs; it requires active observation, interpretation and intervention. By learning to recognize the difference between balanced, reciprocal play and interactions that are one-sided, we can better understand and advocate for each dog’s comfort and safety.

Kelly Steinhoff has over 16 years of dog training experience and serves as the Director of Training and Co-Owner of Bark Avenue Daycamp in Barlett, IL. Bark Avenue has been in business for 19 years, offering daycare, boarding, and training services. Kelly began her career earning a Bachelor’s degree in Animal Science with the goal of becoming a veterinarian. After discovering a passion for training, she worked with her own dogs in competitive obedience, personal protection, and narcotic detection. She later expanded her work to include client dogs and now leads a Train the Trainer program, where she teaches others how to effectively train dogs.