Animal Behavior

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A purple silhouette of a person's head and torso, with a bun in their hair, facing left. The silhouette of a dog's head is behind the person's head, facing right. The person's silhouette is a darker purple, and the dog's is a lighter purple. There are two purple plus signs and three black plus signs scattered around the silhouettes.
School is Back in Session:

How to Rebuild a Connection in Three Seconds

By Eve Molzohn

Whenever a dog lives in a house with kids and they go back to school, the dog’s behavior often changes due to a shift in their home-life schedule. Is the dog getting more rest now that the house is quieter during the day? Is the dog getting less rest with all the hustle of school pickups and after-school activities? Maybe their summer was packed with vacations and adventures, and the dog hasn’t been to daycare or boarding in months.

So how do we thoughtfully reintegrate these dogs—each carrying different emotions—back into our playgroups? To start, we return to the basics by working on our talk, working on our body language and working on what we can ask of them early on in their time at daycare or boarding.

One of the most important tools in our toolbox is something we call the three-touch rule, which is also sometimes known as the three-second rule. It’s a foundational way to build trust and comfort with every dog who walks through your door.

Here’s how it works: You don’t approach the dog head-on; instead, walk about a foot or two off to their side, then spin so you end up shoulder to shoulder. This body positioning gives them time to sniff, assess and feel safe.

At some point, we aim to touch the dog—not on the head, but from the shoulder blades back toward the hips or tail. This isn’t a “good dog!” kind of pet, nor a deep massage—it’s somewhere in between. It’s the kind of firm but gentle touch that says, “I see you. I’m here.”

While doing this, we also give a marker word—something like “yes” or “good,” or even say the dog’s name. It’s a subtle but powerful way to bridge verbal and physical communication.

the three–touch rule

A dark purple silhouette of a person's legs standing next to a lighter purple silhouette of a dog in a purple circle. The person's legs are in the foreground, and the dog is in the background, with its head and tail visible. The number '1.' is in the top left corner of the circle.

You don’t approach the dog head-on; instead, walk about a foot or two off to their side, then spin so you end up shoulder to shoulder.

A dark purple hand with fingers spread is petting the back of a light purple dog, all within a purple circle. The hand is a dark purple silhouette, and the dog is a light purple silhouette. The number '2.' is in the top left corner.
At some point, we aim to touch the dog—not on the head, but from the shoulder blades back toward the hips or tail.
A dark purple silhouette of a woman's head and shoulders in profile, facing left within a purple circle. A dark purple speech bubble, with a rectangular shape and rounded corners, appears in front of her face. The number '3.' is in the top left corner.
While doing this, we also give a marker word—something like “yes” or “good,”or even say the dog’s name.

This process is especially helpful for dogs who may need extra relationship-building after changes at home. For overly social dogs, this helps them focus and channel their energy into positive attention. For the shy or reserved ones, it creates an opening for trust. And if you can slip in a scratch beneath the collar area, that’s bonus bonding! Just remember, don’t overdo it; no hovering. The key is balance.

What we do at daycare also helps shape how dogs behave out in the world. That’s where the three-second rule comes in. Dogs learn to receive three seconds of affection from a stranger, then move away. This teaches them not only appropriate social behavior in a group setting, but also valuable urban training for life with their humans. Many pet owners love this tip—they use it regularly when out on walks or at the dog park to reinforce good manners and respectful interactions.

When you pair the three-touch or three-second rule with a consistent marker word, you’re actively speaking a language that dogs understand—one built on trust, timing and repetition. Too often, we say words without action, and those words lose all meaning to our dogs. However, when the word is paired with something physical, the verbal cue starts to carry weight.

Too often, we say words without action, and those words lose all meaning to our dogs. However, when the word is paired with something physical, the verbal cue starts to carry weight.

Now, when you walk into a playgroup and say “yes!” or “good!” the dogs respond. They remember that this word meant connection the last time. It meant trust.

Still, this only works if it’s consistent across all handlers. If someone uses a different word or isn’t consistent, dogs notice—and their behavior shows it. That handler might struggle with engagement or group management simply because their communication isn’t in sync with everyone else.

Consistency isn’t just a training principle; it’s how we build a cohesive, compassionate environment where dogs feel understood. When consistency happens, everybody wins!

Eve Molzhon is the creator and owner of Dog Handler Academy. Dog Handler Academy is a 100% online, automated employee training program designed specifically for dog daycares and boarding facilities. Our real-life daycare videos and online quizzes fast-track your new hires into understanding dog handling and care, saving you time and money. Courses cover basic and advanced dog handler skills, social cues and safety, client relations, and more. The mission of Dog Handler Academy is to provide employers training new hires with comprehensive material in a cost-efficient, consistent, and effective program. Our end goal is to create better handlers within our industry to ensure the proper care of animals.

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